Okay, I'm 20, girl is 18, we've been going out for 25months, about 2 months ago she started hangin out with a guy from her work, he's 17. Normally I would be like "be careful with him" blah blah but I met this guy and hung out with him a couple times with my g/f and he seemed pretty cool. I could see it in him that he liked my g/f. But not to be arrogant who wouldn't? She's the most beautiful, awesome girl I've ever met. So naturally everytime they hung out i was jealous, but I knew nothing would ever happen. She even told me. Now this kid is a man pimp, he's been all over, and this is my first real g/f. My belief is that getting girls is what he does. A couple weeks ago me and my g/f had a stupid fight about nothing then she said she wants a break. I was like okay if that's what you need. From then until now we still hung out everyday, did "things" and scheduled a trip to San diego this summer. Soon after the break she said she's going to the other kid's prom, this sucks but I couldn't change anything and she said it was just as friends. That's in the middle of may. So me and the girl hang out all the time. Last night though, she hung out with the other kid. I said to call me when she got home. She did, it was late. It turned out they kissed. My whole world came crashing down but I stayed strong on the phone and was just like "oh damn, did you feel anything?" She;s like no. I could not sleep almost at all last night. Today I could barely eat and definitely not stop thinking about everything. They're hanging out as we speak, and I want to see her tonight. I don't know what to say though cause I don't want to beg and be desparate. I asked 30mins ago she said they were hanging and that she didn't think we could tonight. I know all of you are going to be like move on go find another girl etc. I don't want to. I don't even want to find another girl to make her jealous or anything. All I want is her. I feel like I'd give away my Mustang to get her back. I don't care that they kissed I just want to get her before it's too late. I want to f*ing kill the kid though. I've kept my cool the entire time. I know where they'll be tonight but don't want to show up because then she'll be like you're stalking me and everything. She even told me today that we'll get back together one day. I know she still loves me, but she's obviously interested in the other kid. I'm trying to tell her he's playing games but she doesn't want to hear that.
So what do i do guys (and girls)? Giving up is not an option.
< Message edited by bryan0 -- 4/16/2008 5:35:07 PM >
First of all you guys are way too young for some "your the only person for me" sh**. If she likes the guy, then she likes him. There's nothing worse than trying to hold on to something that's trying to leave you. You obviously like her more than she likes you. She obviously like him more than she likes you. This sh** happens ever day and sadly it not easy accepting it. If he is a playboy, he will eventually get bored with her which will send her crawling back to you..but is that what you really want? Sloppy seconds?
The best advice I can give you is LET HER GO.
Not easy, not simple but necessary.
Find another girl to hang with. Let time show her what a mistake she has made. Clinging to her and not giving her space will push her away ever further...
On a serious note, tell her how you feel. When she told you she kissed him, you should have said thas f'in bullsh!t. Either your with me or not. A break is not an excuse for her to fool around with others. If she wants to do that then tell her you are done. If she truly likes you as much as you think, she should say no prob. If not, then seriously dude, SHE IS NOT WORTH IT.
I've been there..I was there a few months ago...it's part of life. You just need to figure out if you would like to contiue to spend time w/ somebody like her - a girl that has no clue what she wants in life...just wait till shes fixing to turn 21 thats where mine went to ****. She wanted to go out be all 21 she could be and I said have fun w/o me I aint dealing w/ it. You just need to put her behind you and find somebody that wants the same things in everyday life that you do...
I'm sorry to say but you're done. I was the same way with my first girlfriend, same everything except age. It's going to be the hardest thing in your life to get over to be honest, but this is what I did. Went out with another girl, always comparing to the first gf, and wasn't even close. Broke up with that girl after a semester, then guess who I wanted back? The one that I broke up with. But now she won't get back with me, uh, we currently aren't speaking, but I'm trying to get our relationship neutral. But guess what, I moved on!
yea, i know I sound really naive, I'm definitely not ready to just stop trying. I'm a firm believer in "if there's a will there's a way" and that "i can do anything I set my mind to"
I know it might be the best thing to do but do you guys have any advice at all other than to "move on?"
this forum makes me realize guys arent all assholes like they portray themselves tobe.. you guys are sosweet... makes me wish i had found guys like you long time ago..
ok but freal.. your heart will prob always hang low for this chick.. my first bf always thought wed be together forever in the end and even proposed to me and downed my currents and all that jazz.. and.. i thought he was a great guy but not for me.. you really just gotta stick by the 'if you let it go and it returns its really meant to be' saying.. guy may be a loser and a player but he knows just what to say and do to get her in the hole.. girls are evil man.. we dont like breaking hearts we care about so we start getting devious about **** and dont even mean to.. i dont thinnk shed tell you if something happens.. atleast not now..maybe one day.. and yeah, yhou may be back together one day but just not this day or prob any day soon. if its really one of those ill never let her go things then you have to stand by while guys treat her like garbage and watch from afar and be there when she needs you as a friend for now.. and one day shell realize what a cnt she was and be with you again hopefully..
sorry guy.. but i think everyone in here with any age has seen this happen.. a lot..
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ORIGINAL: redass02gt I want to be an asshole doctor... but instead I''m stuck being an asshole moderator on the internet
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bryan0
yea, i know I sound really naive, I'm definitely not ready to just stop trying. I'm a firm believer in "if there's a will there's a way" and that "i can do anything I set my mind to"
I know it might be the best thing to do but do you guys have any advice at all other than to "move on?"
yea, i know I sound really naive, I'm definitely not ready to just stop trying. I'm a firm believer in "if there's a will there's a way" and that "i can do anything I set my mind to"
I know it might be the best thing to do but do you guys have any advice at all other than to "move on?"
it's definitely hard to stop trying. you dont have to move on, but really do yourself a favor and you have to just hook up with / date some random chick. dont try to find one thats better than what you had because you wont. but find a girl that you think is attractive / fun. the ones you love come very rarely, but you would be surprised how much of a loop the ones you like can throw you for. i dated that girl for a semester and dumped her ass for some random girl at a party, i really didnt care that much about her which is sad and i feel like an asshole. but even after the one you liked is gone and out there, youll miss her too. what im saying is, find another girl so you can screw it up and miss her instead. because the first one is the hardest, and love is hard to come by, at least for me.
I'll tell you something man, I was in the same situation as you when I was younger. I was with a girl that I was head over heals for. She started hanging out with another guy and she said they were just "friends". I trusted her, so I didn't care. The worked together. We ended up taking a break as well, she started hanging out with him more. We were still talking alot and sleeping together. One day I ask her if anything had ever happened with this guy, and she confessed that they had kissed. I dug a little deeper because I just had a feeling she was ****ting me, and finally she admitted to me they had slept together. So after I found that out I just went out and got hammered and ended up having a threesome with 2 girls that frequented the bar I worked at. needless to say I didn't care what she did after that. Moral of the story: Go out and have some fun man!!!! You are still young, you have a whole life of chicks ahead of you.
thanks for your responses man, you dont suck at giving advice haha
another stupid reason I don't want to give up is because I feel like the other guy won and i want anything but for him to be happy. Even if i stopped loving the girl it'd be tough to give in and let the other guy win, idk it's retarded
I've been out of the game for over 2 years, I hope i still have it if i need to use it, but hopefully i won't need to
anyways, thanks for all your help guys, i'm gonna go think and stuff i feel like a damn baby lol
been in this EXACT situation.... and i bet they have done more than kiss...my gf told me she kissed this dude...then i told her i forgive her etc...she kept hanging out with him and i was riding her ass about it telling her if she wants to break up then to just tell me...she kept sayin she only wants me etc etc...then she admits they make out everyday....i got pissed and said we need a break...next day she says they ****ed...loved her to death, but after that i was so pissed that i told her to never speak to me again...and that was the end of it....she broke up with the guy a few months later and came crawling back with the "i miss you" ****, and i told her off again...sorry bro, but this **** with your girl is over...i was with my gf for over 4 years when this all went down.....**** happens
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Aw brings back memories.
My ex started "talking" to her ex (her "first love") and I knew she has slept around before me so I began to feel uneasy. Later on down the road, she was at a party and supposidly "blacked out" but somehow remembers a guy "kissing her". Well I was a chump and I'm like WTF okay okay yada yada it's okay... well she dumped my ass.
I ROFLZ at my past and I get a gut ache from ROFLZing so hard about it. I was so lost, so ignorant to how things worked. You will learn from this issue that you need to find a girl that won't let herself make you feel uneasy and will fix her **** if she does. My current girlfriend and I have been together just shy of 2 years and I have not the slightest feeling that she would/could do anything to me like my ex (who was indeed a whore...*TIP* never date one of those). There are girls who actually care about how they make the other person (you) feel. YOu just have to go looking for them, but generally if you're anything like me, the good girls come to me, while I go looking for the trashy skanks (hense my "lust's a bitch" thread). You will never forget about the shmuck the robbed you of your girlfriend and all that you put in her (except your shlong I hope). Realize what the dude has done to you and what the girl allowed him to do, which was interfere with what sounded like a reasonably healthy relationship. Kick his ass, break her heart, and I hate to say it, but move on. Trying will only bring you deeper into the mud, as it did with me.
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another stupid relationship problem help me thread - 
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dude, you have a lot to learn about life 
